His Purpose

The winds have been fierce on the mountain lately, over 100 mile an hour being recorded, a visual of my thoughts as change blows fiercely through.

For 22 years, the same work has met me each morning, steadily evolving as the responsibilities grew.  And the precious responsibilities, our children, are now moving away, grown.


This purpose of my waking is walking out our door into a newness shaped by You, Lord.  And heart-groans murmur at the change, invigorating and scary all at once. Skipping one minute and pounding the next.

Having no set boundaries for how the day is lived, time is given away.  Many good endeavors have ended in frustration, leaving trails of soul-chaos.

A friend, just ahead of me on the road of life, wrote black on white into my grey life:

"I remember how frustrated I was a couple of years ago.  I was so sure I was supposed to be doing something glorious that would fill my life!  But nothing happened.  I looked.  I prayed.  I tried to do things that I was hoping God had in mind for my purpose, but He didn't.  And the more I tried, the more frustrated I got.  One day, I just decided He didn't want me to do anything, but look for Him.  He didn't want me to do ANYTHING, just learn to be content with Him. And I let go of trying to make something happen."

For it is God who works in you, 

both to will 

and work 

for His good pleasure.   

Philippians 2:13

And I am sure of this,

that He who began a good work in you 

will bring it to completion 

at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

A mentor said to me, "Be content with joy at what the Lord brings into your life."  Content.

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me  

Psalm 138:8a

And I hear Him repeating content.  And I hear Him directing me to do nothing extra, only look for Him in the circumstances, the chores, the relationships, the life He has already given.


Do I have permission, Father?  Do I have permission to not stay on the treadmill named "Normal" in our fast paced society? Can I give myself permission?  

Fears begin to walk in the back door right as these questions walk in the front.

What if I don't have a job outside our home to give myself relative significance?  What if our finances strangle us and keep our already simple life stripped?  


But, what if that simplicity lets You come through brighter?  What if You become the absolute focus for this time?  
No running.  
     No hiding under a false security of surface crust.  
          Just real life from the deeps You struck when Mama called 
               and when You said to run a disciplined life. . .

So when well-meaning folks ask, "What are you doing now that your children are grown and gone?  What are you doing with this new found freedom?"  And smiles of anticipation spread across their face as they wait for their kind of normal answer . . .

Lord, I wonder at their response if I answered, "I am learning to be a slave?"  Will there be glints of Life in my eyes shining from seeking You?  Or fear of their response?  


Could those words really come out of my mouth?  Could I REALLY LIVE those words and not hide in what others expect of me for their comfort . . . 


And heart-groans murmur at the change, invigorating and scary all at once!  Skipping one minute and pounding the next as my husband says, "Obey God and be fully alive.  Walk past the fears, and stand in that place."

What if we, sweet friend, spent a year
looking for Him
in our daily lives
to honor Him as God 
and
to be thankful?
Romans 1:21

And what if our purpose was to live as His follower, His slave? 

Come to the Table with me, His Table . . . for fellowship with Jesus Christ.
Love always,
Angie

Refresh yourself in the Peace of My Presence.  This Peace can be your portion at all times and in all circumstances.  Learn to hide in the secret of My Presence, even as you carry out your duties in the world.  I am both with you and within you.  I go before you to open up the way, and I also walk alongside you.  There could never be another companion as devoted as I am.

Because I am your constant Companion, there should be a lightness to your step that is observable to others.  Do not be weighed down with problems and unresolved issues, for I am your burden-bearer.  In the world you have trials and distress, but don't let them get you down.  I have conquered the world and deprived it of power to harm you.  In Me you may have confident Peace.

Sarah Young, Jesus Calling 

Mama's Call

Mornings come fresh, crisp and dark before the sun rises over the ridge.  It is my time set aside to meet Jesus.  We have a standing date.

Today, our date lasted longer than usual at the table because the room is crowded with thoughts and hopes, fears and joys we wade through together.

As thoughts have paused, my soul is silent - waiting - asking what do I do.  That is when Mama called.

"Hi Mama," I said soft and slow.

Her happy voice enters my room, "You are either worn out or something is going on.  Your tone is saying something!"  From 800 miles away she knows.  She shares, "Well, I was reading the Word and the Lord nudged me.  He said to call and share two verses with you.  So, before you tell me what is going on, hear what He has for you:

And your ears will hear a word behind you,

"This is the way, walk in it."

Whenever you turn to the right or to the left.

Isaiah 30:21

His Sword struck deeply.

"Angie?  Are you there?"

"Yes, ma'am," whispers out as He reminds me:  Listen.

"Okay," she continues happily, "Well, I have one more in Isaiah for you:

Thus says the LORD,

the Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:

I am the LORD your God,

who teaches you to profit,

who leads you in the way you should go.

Isaiah 48:17

Mama hasn't been to my home in 6 months.  She doesn't know my bathroom mirror carries an acrostic to keep me from gaining confidence or worth or support through anything other than my God.  It says:

                             W  Worship

                             O   only

                             R   Redeemer

                             T   the

                             H   Holy

Redeemer, the Holy,
     You are sending the warmth of You into crevices to melt the coverage that hides.  This is Your way: bringing life from the hidden places.

Mama's voice breaks through again, "Honey, the next verse is written in past tense to the children of Israel, but it seems that you are supposed to hear it present tense.  So, as I read it, I am changing the verbs:

Oh, that you pay attention to My commandments! . . .

Isaiah 48:18

"I am scared, Mama, and excited."  And her voice comes back encouraging.

"Can I do this?" begins the thoughts flying around of goodness and joy being tossed and blown by lies that destroy and paralyze, rending uselessness.

I run to Him for soul rest . . . and He reminds me . . . He is LORD and I follow.

Mama reminds me, too, He has created us for His purposes.  In that purpose will be His rest.


Lord, help us stand in Your purposes.  
Love always,
Angie

Most of us grew up in homes where we were taught to study hard in school and in college so we could get a good job and make lots of money and live in a big house, drive a nice car, and enjoy great vacations.  When you ask a child what they want to be when they grow up, the answers generally reflect that influence.  But no one ever says, "When I grow up, I want to be a slave."  But that is what the Bible calls us to.  The Bible would teach that the highest calling for you is to be a slave who denies himself and follows Jesus.

Kyle Idleman, Not a Fan, pg.150.

His Way

There is cold cleanness to new fallen snow.
Pristine crystal coverage that draws the eye as the sun passes over.
Frozen perfection as a surface crust forms.

And time passes.

Then something happens.  Foot-falls break the crusty illusion of coverage to expose life hidden.  A road opens.  Sun shines.  Moisture seeps into frozen crevices breaking and softening the pristine coverage.  Earth is churned as more foot-falls arrive and more snow melts.

From this ground, warmed and watered and churned, comes life from the hidden places, in His time.

Father, there is cold comfort staying in hidden places, where life seems clean as new fallen snow.  But You have made us to live in the light of Your Son.  As I turn toward the heat of His face, mud is on mine.  

I am scared.  And my first response is to hide, again.  

And He said to me, 

"My grace is sufficient for you,

for power is perfected in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

How blessed is the man  . . .  

whose delight is in the law of the LORD, . . .

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

Psalm 1:1-3

And Your grace rains down.  Washing me white as snow.  

For by grace you have been saved through faith. 

It is the gift of God . . . 

We are His workmanship,

created in Christ Jesus for good works,

which God prepared beforehand,

that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:8-10

Father, thank You for the heat 
     that melts the snows 
          that water the seeds 
               that grow toward Your Light. 
Help me walk, broken and softened and alive.

Love always,
Angie

Holy-days

You will not do any ordinary work.
       You are to be before the Lord. Focused on Him.  Celebrate Him.
            You will gather with other believers. . .

His Words repeated over and over through Leviticus 23 as the festivals were laid out before the Israelites . . . fill me with joy. . . God teaching His people to celebrate.

And we celebrated.

Even as Christmas decorations are packed away for another year, reverberations of celebration continue in my heart.  And my heart smiles.


Father, thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus.  
     We celebrated by stopping our ordinary work.  
          We celebrated Him in our hearts and in our homes. 
               And we gathered. . .   


Thank You for the joy that grows and fills and overflows into color and laughter and food, crafts and children and ordinary lives.  Your precious Gift remembered.  


May celebration echo in your heart for days.
Love always,
Angie

The God-setting-things-right that we read about 

has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. 

And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. 

For there is no difference between us and them in this. 

Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) 

and proved that we are utterly incapable of living 
the glorious lives God wills for us, 

God did it for us. 

Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. 

A pure gift. 

He got us out of the mess we're in 

and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. 

And he did it by means of 

Jesus Christ.

The Message, Romans 8:22-24

Banqueting Table

We come together to cook, to visit, and to eat.
Then, we stay to share, the sharing of God at work in our lives.  And the children say Jesus their own way.

Holidays are satisfying as holy days.  Days set apart for celebrating our Lord.  The Messiah.  The Baby who is the Lamb of God.  The Bread of Life.  The Living Water.

May your celebrations be a feast of Him.
Love always,
Angie

When You Know They Know

Our children will return from college for their Christmas break.  They enter home to sleep, be fed, and be heard.  Father, that is home . . . entering into Your place of peace to rest, be fed, and be heard.  

Our daughter shared a written moment before arriving home. A tender moment of Truth bubbling out of her.  And it let our hearts know that she knows.  She knows where guidance can be found.  And she wrote:

I flopped onto the bed with a sigh.

At last I had been given some free time for a few hours. I had been up the night before with Joseph, who had a horrible cough, and we were both exhausted, but that little two-year-old has two naps a day and if I am lucky I get a quick power nap. 

I lay there trying with all my might to fall asleep, but two things were stopping me: the incessant crying and whining that was going on upstairs and the Still-Small-Voice in my head telling me to go the extra mile.

I curled tighter, determined to make-up the hours of lost sleep. 

Choose this day whom you serve, Hannah.

The battle inside my mind began in earnest. Lord, she told me I could rest. I don't need to go up there right now.

Who is giving her a chance to rest? She was up last night too.

But she is the mom. She is used to being this tired all the time and I was up more than she was. 

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourself. 

I sat up grumpily. Fine, Lord. I'm going. 

Do all things without grumbling...

Isn't it enough that I going up there to help her? Why do you care if I'm cheerful about it or not? 

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

God, I'm too tired to be thankful and cheerful. Can you hear the kids up there? At least two of them are crying the other one is whining. God I can't do it! I'm worn out and emotionally empty.

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.

I walked up stairs and into the chaos of life holding tightly to His Word. I knew that if I let go of Him, I would fall. 

Father, at the end of the day when all is said and done, I just want to know that our children have the tools to live this life. That they have You . . . or maybe it is knowing that You have them first. . . in the palm of Your hand.  And, Father, thank You for the reminders that you give me, too.  You are the One who holds onto me.


May you know He is the One holding onto you.  And there find rest and sustenance and a listening ear.
Love always,
Angie

Tradition

The beauty of the day is wrapped in tradition.

Bundled against the cold with a saw and tape measure in hand we hike through the woods with all the kids.  Finding the perfect tree.  Coming back to the warm fire. Visiting with family and friends.

This is how we begin our advent season together.

And we remember His birth with joy and hot cocoa!  The coming of His birth broke 400 years of silence.  And we celebrate the breaking of the silence, it is tradition

The snow coated woods were quiet this year, but not us!  Running footsteps and wonderful squeals of delight danced through the trees.  His children celebrating with hearts joy-filled for the season ahead, a season of remembering the life given to us through His coming.

            God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone,

             but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars."            -Martin Luther


And on snow covered peaks and cooking fires and His children's hearts.
During this advent season, may you remember with joy His coming.
Love always,
Angie

           Friends, we need to stop living selfish lives, forgetful of our God.  
           Our lives here are short, often unexpectedly so, 
           and we can all stand to be reminded of it from time to time. . . 
           Don't let yourself forget.  
           Soak it in and keep remembering that it is true.  
           He is everything.                                                            -Francis Chan, Crazy Love, pg. 51