In the Stillness

In the stillness, my soul hears His beat more loudly.  

     Constant.

          Loving.

His rhythm is continual, never ending.

     Calming.

          Steady.

In the quiet, He whispers truth for me to hear.

     Trust Me.

          Believe.

From false thought-beats pounding, He supplies refuge.

    Faithful.

          Mighty.

Raw wounds, tender cuts, and God says "Hush. I will fill."

  Inward.

           Healing.

He instructs. Counsels. Reminds me, "Step forward."

    Forgive.

               Bless them.

Healing begins as whispered blessings are spoken.

         His Words.

               Heart-felt.

Jesus says deny myself, pick up my cross daily.

     Seek Me.

          Follow.

So I keep His commandments, abide in His love.

    His Joy.

          In me.

And in this stillness, my soul is at rest.
In Him.
            Always.  

Grace and peace,

Angie

The Focus

Night slips into day that slips into night allowing time to slide together.  Life-hurts and unexpected arrows fuel emotions and thoughts that work overtime.  Weariness.  I wonder where a day went  . . . devoured by what ifs, and whys, and how-do-I-do-this moments that have no boundaries.

Come to Me,

All who are weary and heavy-laden,

And I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

And "automatic pilot" could be an easy out, which has been a prime choice of mine in years past.  What are other ways we endure life-hurts in our own strength?
     Ignore brokenness by stuffing the pieces into hiding.
     Run from disappointment by starting something new.
     Numb the pain.
     Cause a physical pain to mask the emotional pain.

But God gave another plan.  A perfect plan.  He sent His Son to walk through brokenness, pain, rejection, disappointment and unjust circumstances.  Because of this, we have an understanding Savior who shows us the way back through the darkness of life-hurts to wholeness with the Father.

"I am the way, 

and the truth, 

and the life.  

No one comes to the Father 

except through me.

John 14:6

Jesus knows the hurt.
     He shows the way out.
          Jesus stands and knocks on the door of our souls.
               He saves us from destruction.
Jesus stands before the Father as our advocate even as we stumble and bumble through life-hurts.

As a ballerina learns to spin, she finds a focus mark.  That mark keeps her world in balance.

When life sends enemy-spins, a mark to focus is needed.
To keep balance in our hearts, there will be a mark on which we focus.  

I know mine.

Take My yoke upon you,

and learn from Me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart;

and you shall find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:29

Jesus.

And what do I learn when I stare at Jesus?

Jesus asked His  closest friends to come aside and pray with Him on Passover night before His capture and crucifixion.  And He showed that friends were only part of the journey . . . He went further, alone, before His Father.

He prayed.
     He cried out.
          He agonized.
He shared His heart with His Father, God.
     He submitted.
          Jesus surrendered to the Father's will.
And He blessed His enemies with forgiveness.

"Father, forgive them;

for they do not know what they are doing."

Jesus.  
Spoken from the cross. 
Luke 23:34

God allowed difficult-beyond-human-ability circumstances for Jesus and, because of them, we can know He understands ours.  He is gentle and humble and life-giving in His teaching:

But I say to you who hear,

love your enemies,

do good to those who hate you,

bless those who curse you, 

pray for those who mistreat you.

And just as you want people to treat you,

treat them in the same way.

But love your enemies,

and do good, 

and lend, expecting nothing in return;

and your reward will be great,

and you will be sons of the Most High;

for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.

Luke 6:27-28, 31, 35

And His servant Peter said it again another way:

To  sum up,

let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly,

kindhearted, and humble in spirit;

not returning evil for evil,

or insult for insult,

but giving a blessing instead;

for you were called for the very purpose

that you might inherit a blessing.

1 Peter 3:8-9

What is your focus mark?

In the middle of life-hurts, I pray it is Jesus.

Love always,

Angie

Click on this link to hear Jason explaining the song Where I Belong
Then listen to the whole song:  Where I belong by Building 429

Trials and Temptation

The past weeks since returning from Uganda have been turbulent emotionally, frustrating mentally, exhausting physically.  And desires to quit, hide, and run thicken the circumstantial chaos.

Ever been in a place like that?  Every breath labors.

We are stepping through the storm that was on the horizon weeks ago.  It is here.  Winds come in waves, hitting full force some days, making it hard to breathe.  And every heart-muscled-emotion screams for air, a deep and satisfying inhale.

This is battle.  For those who choose to follow Jesus Christ, the heat of the battle takes place inside us.  No matter the outward circumstances, the bottom line of the battle is this: will we live surrendered to the authority of God through Christ or not?

Countless friends have sent this Truth:  The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.  Exodus 14:14

Father, it feels foolish to be silent when others defend their actions publicly, but the direction from You is to be silent.  I never knew being silent would take such energy and cost so many tears. 

God allows trials in life to test us, they bring out our moral qualities or character, but temptation persuades to evil, deludes us, so that we may be lead to ruin.  God tries; Satan tempts.  Man may be tempted through the senses, the imagination, or the reason.   

If through the senses:  it appeals to greed, appetite, lust, or any one of the passions that bestialize man and create our grosser miseries and crimes. 

If through the imagination:  it dazzles to betray, comes as pride, ambition, or any one of the graceful and gracious forms that can be made to veil vainglorious egotism.

If through the reason: then temptation will come as the doubt of the true, suspicion of the good, or in any of the many forms in which intellect protests against the limits it so wishes. (Fairbairn, A.M.  Studies in the life of Christ.  London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1896.)

Jesus was tempted in the wilderness.  

And we learn He could not be perverted from the perfect will of God, His Father.  

I can be perverted from Your perfect will.  
It usually begins with wrong thoughts and powerful emotions, Father.   

We are destroying speculations

and every lofty thing raised up 

against the knowledge of God,

and we are taking every thought captive 

to the obedience of Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Jesus walked through many trials.  

And we learn of His character by reading His trials.  

Recently, the "trial" of Christ's death and resurrection has been celebrated by His followers all around the world.  As we celebrated in our home, we read the account of Jesus' last night with His disciples.  He washed all 12 of their feet, even the feet of Judas.  Moments later, Judas left to commit betrayal.

Jesus knew.  And Jesus washed his feet.  Jesus ate at the table with him, too.

In the garden of Gethsemane, while Judas was on his way to give a kiss of betrayal, Jesus was in agony.  To be in agony means to have extreme and generally prolonged pain; intense physical or mental suffering; a violent struggle.  (dictionary.com)  In the midst of this agony, He knelt and prayed to His Father,

If You are willing, 

remove this cup from me.  

Nevertheless, not my will, 

but Yours be done.

(Luke 22:42 ESV)

Jesus, even in the midst of His stormy trial, did not fall to the temptation to take matters into His own hands.  Christ's trust of God was implicit.

Father, thank You for the example of Jesus, trusting You in the midst of life-storms.  I will follow Him.

May our circumstance not dictate our response.

Instead, may our response to the circumstance God allows glorify Him.

Love always,
Angie

The Stare

The road is hot.  Red dirt sticks to sweaty arms. legs, hands, feet.  We are being driven to "the farm".  It is the last leg of the journey.  We have traveled for two days to get here: twenty hours by plane, a stop over for the night, a shopping trip at the market for water and a few supplies, only to gather back into a van for another 4 hour trip with open windows to the farm.  We are in Africa.

People stare at us.

I stare back.

Sometimes I smile but my braces scare them.  Their eyes follow us with question as our van windows provide a front row view of their world we pass through.

Father, do I stare at You with that same interest?  You call me to seek You, but do I stare long enough to gather information as to who You are?  Moment by moment?  Just as I stare at the Ugandan life passing by, do I stare at You?

When I stare, I seek information for understanding.


Father, thank You for inviting me to stare at You.  I do seek to understand and to follow You in my everyday life.  Moment by moment.  I am so glad that it is not rude to stare at You!

I love those who love Me;

And those who diligently seek Me

will find Me.

Proverb 8:17

Ask, and it shall be given to you;

Seek, and you shall find;

Knock, and it shall be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives, 

and he who seeks finds,

and to him who knocks it shall be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8 

If then you have been raised to life in fellowship in Christ, 

keep seeking the things above, 

where Christ is, 

seated at the right hand of God.  

Colossians 3:1

Father, Your promises give courage and strength to keep seeking You when sometimes the road is dark or maybe weary.  Thank You for life-giving promises.

May we all stare in the right direction - seeking to see the face of Jesus.

Love always,

Angie

Hello!

March was spent in Uganda, Africa.

Sorry for the quiet from the blog, but the stories are now being written.  And I can hardly wait for you to see the pictures.  There was no electricity or internet where we were, so the stories and thoughts and pictures were stored in my journal and in my camera.  They are beginning to unfold onto this blog.

Dancing and singing is my favorite remembrance of the people.
There is more to come . . .
Love always,
Angie

Stepping

Have you ever made yourself step when you can see a life-storm ahead?  Had to choose to stay present and walk into it when you would rather run to your own idea of comfort?  Walked into a circumstance that demands you stand on the faith born from storms past while feeling vulnerable and defenseless now?

Thoughts jumble and bounce between courage and doubt.  And when I doubt, I am like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.  (James 1:6b)

Father, You tell us to be still.  Be quiet.  Stand.  Seek Your face.  Follow where You lead.  These are stages of surrender.  I want to fight back against the storm.  You made me so strong and I want to flex my muscles!  Please calm my heart-storm, my thought-winds.

The winds and storm momentarily dissipates.  Peace like a river attends my soul.  And we walk toward the waves with storms on the horizon wondering how hard will it hit.

Not my will but Yours be done.

We walk in the direction of our God because, although we make plans in our own minds, the Lord directs our steps.  (Proverbs 16:9)  Sometimes He directs us to face toward the storm and to lean in toward each other . . . and that is the purpose of the storm . . . to follow God together.

And we walk in trust.

He who gives attention to the word shall find good, 

and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.  

Proverbs 16:20

Let not your heart be troubled;

believe in God, believe also in Me.

Jesus

John 14:1

Do you now believe? . . .

I have spoken to you,

that you may have peace.

In the world you have tribulation, 

but take courage;

I have overcome the world.

Jesus

John 16:33

And I ask . . . "Why did You give me strong?" . . . and I know.  Heavenly Father, pour Your word into my soul and let me know You hold me as I surrender to Your steps.  


Loving Lord, You have not given us a spirit of timidity, but one of love, power, and discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)  Strength is required to love when hurt is standing in the way.  We are loving others, Lord.  Strength is required in discipline.  Strength flexes as we follow You and not lean on our own understanding, our own thoughts, our own desires.  Strength is required and it comes from You . . .


Actually, . . . honestly, . . . I want to dance in the storm.  Then, be held by You when I am tired.  And Father, I praise You even now, not knowing what is ahead.  What I know for certain is: You are God.  


Praise Your Holy name. 

I love You, O Lord, my strength.

Psalm 18:1

May we know our Lord, our Father, our Provider, our Protector more deeply in the face of life's storms.
Love always,
Angie

It's just one step toward solid ground,
It's just one step on water.
It's one more step that's heaven bound,
It's one more step of slaughter.


It's just one step of foolishness, 
It's a step upon a prayer.
It's the step that I would never take,
If my God weren't standing there.


It's the only step I cannot take,
It's the step upon the brink.
It's the step I'm called to make,
But, like Peter, I just sink!


It's just one step out on a limb,
It's just one step on grace.
So I'll take one step to be with Him,
I'll step to see His face.
Zach Tingle

Where is God?

The question cries through clenched teeth, "Where is God?"
All I say is, "What do you mean?"

"I pray and He doesn't answer.  I. am. so. angry. with. Him."
"Why?"

"He doesn't care about me
     or maybe He is busy with someone else
          or maybe He just isn't really there."

I listen and remember having those thoughts when He first taught me to be still and wait on Him.


Father, it is good to walk a long time with You.   I don't doubt Your presence anymore.  I just wish for more of You.  Time after time, You answer and provide.  And You do not jump when I wish You would. Instead, You tell me to be still in my soul and seek You and follow You and know You.  


And it is always just right.  


You are always with me (Matthew 28:20).  You never fall asleep on the job (Psalm 121:2-3) of caring for me.  I am safe with You.  That doesn't mean life is "safe," but, You are, Father.

Faith stands at attention in the chambers of our minds at the point we trust.  There are times He calls us to stand in the midst of storms, even though our five senses do not register His existence.  Since He isn't defined by our senses, deep frustration can take root. But God is deeper.

God knew we would struggle with Him and He gave us our senses to experience Him.  But He gave us a heart and soul to know Him.

All of creation knows (Romans 1:20) there is something bigger . . . more powerful . . . undefined . . . creative . . .

Father, I am so thankful that we experience You in the depths of who we are.  If You were to take our sight, and the ability to hear, to taste, to smell, and to feel with our skin, we would still be living.  In that state, it would be thoughts and emotions only.  And that is where You commune with us.  

It is where 

belief,

trust, 

faith,

hope,

love, 

joy, 

peace,

patience,

kindness,

goodness,

gentleness,

self-control,

longsuffering,

mercy,

and real life reside.

These words have depth.  Read them one at a time.  Slowly.  Try to define them.  It is easier to describe their meanings by giving an example from life.  Circumstances bring them to understanding.  But the reality of them lives in our heart and soul.  God's dwelling place.

Where is God?  In the depths of our being.  In all of creation.  And not always registered by our senses.
Love always,
Angie

There is no pit so deep

That God's love is not deeper still.

Corrie Ten Boom