Reverberations

We are 4000 strong, a microcosm of the world.  

One room holds all of us standing and praising and learning and sharing.  Reverberations of voices pulse across my skin, vibrating through me, becoming the beat of my heart.

Corporate worship. 

It dances through my legs as they sway to the rhythm 

     and it waves through my hands as they lift in surrender 

          and as tears-deeper-than-words sing eucharist on my cheeks. 

Friends known over two decades have come together from around the world. Friends who I have rushed to hospitals, changed their babies diapers, heard their stories,  worked beside, been taught by, held accountable, welcomed in our home, and MISSED have gathered. And we stand in one room praising God for who He is. 

Powerful.

This trip, the camera is at home on purpose so my eyes register the beauty and my ears the sounds of life.  The beauty of His people fills my senses as we talk and wave and hug and move through the halls.  Richness of knowing they shine Hope where they live fills my heart.  And we all face the same direction, Jesus.  

The Word shared.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope 

without wavering, 

for He who promised is faithful; 

and let us consider how to stimulate one another 

to love and good deeds, 

not forsaking our own assembling together, 

as is the habit of some, 

but encouraging one another . . . 

Hebrews 10:23-25

Our leader encourages us.  Then he brings others to teach us.  And I try to let it all sink into my soul.  Sounds my skin feels and words my heart stores.

The stimulation to love and good deeds.


Then, we are sent back to our homes.  Back to the daily calling to deny ourselves, grasp the purpose God has given us, and to follow Jesus.  A sweet reminder.  It is good to be together!

God is good.  He is good all the time.  This reverberates in my thoughts.

Love always,

Angie

The physics of reverberation:
the persistence of a sound after its source has stopped, 

caused by multiple reflection of the sound within a closed space.

The Journey

The only things defining my journey home in the darkness were reflectors on one side and wash boards cut into the center line of pavement on the other side.  I looked for one and heard the other, then I knew where I needed to be.

Headlights shone only yards ahead.  The darkened heavens cloaked the earth.  Traveling alone gave space for inner thoughts to safely rise and hope-dance and settle in praise toward our God of Creation.  Stars like sky-confetti twinkled from over head down to the winter horizon.  And I drove home while thinking of standing under those same stars half a world away.

In a few weeks I will stand half a world away under these same stars!

And I'll want to tell everybody:
We have the same God who wants to be with us and give us
     direction that offers life
          and hope that anchors our souls
               and stars that make us smile when we are out on a dark night alone!

And the same big God who wraps Himself around and through the cosmos, began His journey on this earth wrapped in a tiny bundle.

He knew exactly how to start that journey: wrapped in swaddling clothes, burial wraps.  And for THE JOY set before Him, He endured many rough roads along His journey on earth.

Father of the Universe, praise is singing from my heart!  The joy set before Jesus was eternity with us, Your children all over the world!  You sent Your Son to show us the way!  

When life brings rough roads and a darkened path, we need help for the journey.  Let it come from the One who knows the way, shedding His light and His voice for the trip.  I look for Him and listen for Him, then I know I am where I need to be.
Love always,
Angie

Seek My face, and you will find 

more than you ever dreamed possible . . . 

I am the goal of all your searching.  

When you seek Me, you find Me and are satisfied.  

When lesser goals capture your attention,  I fade into the background of your life.  

I am still there, watching and waiting; 

but you function as if you were alone.  

Actually, My Light shines 

on every situation you will ever face. 

Live radiantly by expanding your focus to include Me 

in all your moments. 

Let nothing dampen your search for Me.  

Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, January 19th.

Worship

The speck moved, gliding silently into view only to dissolve near the horizon. A falling star!  With childlike excitement I enjoyed the heaven’s display. 

That was last night. 

This morning something awakened me early with a desire to go back outside to stand under that same canopy of stars.  It was a time to be alone with God, a time to worship.

Large silence surrounded predawn darkness.  Have you ever listened to silence?  It grows and expands past the edges of our horizon.  Humility and power live in silence where shining beauty goes on and on. Humility grows because space reminds us of our true size.  Small.  And power is displayed because God himself holds the cosmos in spatial order. He holds it and exists beyond it.

Awe and worship rises from my soul toward Him. 

Worship attributes worth to something. This moment was simple, pure worship attributing worth to the One who placed the stars over our heads.

Cold air pinched my nose and a gentle, quiet darkness enveloped me while my eyes were drawn to the faithful light beginning to burn at the horizon.  Breathtakingly beautiful.  Even thoughts whispered in respect for Him.

Lift up your eyes on high

And see who has created these stars,

The One who leads forth their host by number,

He calls them all by name;

Because of the greatness of His might

and the strength of His power

Not one of them is missing.

Isaiah 40:26

Reminded that the stars speak of our Lord’s majestic power, I stood in wonder.  He knows each of them by name, even the ones that look like a shadow-of-a-star. And not one is missing because of His might and His power.

 

Father, who am I that You would take notice of me? 

             A woman standing alone,

                         On a deck or patio or dirt,

                                    somewhere on a continent,

                                                under Your canopy of pre-morning stars? 

                                                            And a question dares to rise, “Can You find me?”

And God answers:

Can I find you?  Where could you go from My Spirit?  There is nowhere. Psalm 139:7

I have numbered the very hairs of your head!  Luke 12:7

I am your Shepherd and have called you My own.  John 10

I was there when you were created, on purpose, exactly like you are.  Psalm 139.

And I sent My Son to show you the way back to Me when your sins separated us. 

            John 14:6

Breath exhales slowly in a frosted mist as thoughts of Him fill my soul.  He is great.  He is mighty.  And He is faithful to remind us of His tender mercies, like showing us stars held in place by His great power and directing the sun to rise over the horizon each morning spreading fingers of warmth across our skin.

And my heart smiles with thoughts of Him.  Worship.

Love always,

Angie

Heart of Worship

When the music fades,

All is stripped away,

And I simply come.

Longing just to bring

Something that’s of worth,

That will bless Your heart.

I’ll bring You more than a song, for a song in itself

Is not what You have required

You search much deeper within through the way things appear

You’re looking into my heart

I’m coming back to the heart of worship

And it’s all about You,

It’s all about You, Jesus.

I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it

And it’s all about You,

It’s all about You, Jesus.

King of endless worth,

No one could express,

How much You deserve.

Though I’m weak and poor,

All I have is Yours,

Every single breath.

I’ll bring You more than a song, for a song in itself

Is not what You have required

You search much deeper within through the way things appear

You’re looking into my heart

I’m coming back to the heart of worship

And it’s all about You,

It’s all about You, Jesus.

I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it

And it’s all about You,

It’s all about You, Jesus.

Home

Children come home to rest.

     And they come home to be heard.  

          And they come home because it is safe.

               And they come home because it is where they want to be loved.

                    And they come home for tools to return to their life.

The first four children, taught us.  The rest, grafted into our hearts, have continued to keep us humble.

Our home provides a place for them to encounter Jesus.  He is all we have to give.  

          

The stories of life came in spurts as we sat around the table, on stools at the counter or piled on top of each other in the living room nestled around the wood burning stove.  But, the questions came in the quiet where hearts unfold.

"Will I be able to stay the course of study?  I want to.  I don't know if I can.  Do I have what it takes?"  He has what it takes even if you don't.  He is faithful and able.  He will give you all you need to stay the course and will accomplish in you what He has begun.  He is all you need.

"I don't know how school will be paid for.  I want to believe He will help me.  There isn't enough in the bank.  I am in debt."  He is trustworthy.  Step by step He will provide all your needs.  He has a purpose for you and a plan.  He is in control.  He will provide for you to be exactly where He wants you to be.  

"Please pray for patience for me."  He has given His Spirit of patience already.  And it is enough.  Have courage to stand with Him.  Impatience bubbles up when we think we deserve something more, something else, something better.  

"Do you think I am ready for marriage?"  Let your Heavenly Father decide.  Draw close to Him and He will let you know when it is time.  Keep Him as your first love.  He is enough, even if He brings another into your life.  

Do you think He hears me when I pray? I mean, does it matter to Him? How will I know? Have you taken the time to write down your prayers, however big or small? And have you recorded His answers? He always hears our prayers. He promises and He delivers in His time.  

Father, We are Your children and You are our home. 
     We come to You the for rest You promised in Matthew 11:28-30
          We come to You to be heard.  Psalm 65:2
               We come to You to be sheltered and covered.  Psalm 91:4-5
                    We come to You for love.  John 15:13-14
                         We come to You, our home, to learn how to live this life.  
                          Colossians 3:12-17


May you, sweet friend, come home this year to be with Jesus daily as we learn more about Him together.
Love always,
Angie

Cycle of Seasons

Winter's grip is here.  
But it will not stay because God has promised a cycle of seasons.

While the earth remains, 

seedtime and harvest, 

cold and heat, 

summer and winter, 

and day and night 

shall not cease.

Genesis 8:22

Father, You have promised seasons on earth and You are faithful.  Every year they come and go. Winter is here and seems so stark until You reminded me of roots resting in stillness before growing in quietness for the life to come.  

Winter is nature's sigh heard as the winds blow across the snow covered ground and whipping bare limbs and moaning through evergreens ladened with snow.  This season strengthens roots. Winter life anchors.  

Springtime speaks of new birth, even adventure. Surface growth leaps into view.  A lightness of color brightens the landscape.  Limbs extend and leaves unfurl.  Hope is born in spring. 

  

Summer brings steadiness, routine, consistency, and endurance.  Storms, heat, and winds come and go, while growth is sustained with roots deeply laid in the still and quiet of winter.  Fruits and seeds appear, deep greens and warm colors.  Summer sustains.

Harvest is nature's celebration!  All stops are pulled as growth matures in sunshine.  Fruits ripen on the stalks, the limbs, the vines.  Colors change to a richness known only to this season.  Fruits are gathered, grasses and grains are cut one last time.  Energy for the bounty is emptied, fully poured out. Harvest is the height of goodness poured out and gathered in.

Then, rest is needed, again.  

I sigh, Lord of the Harvest, as the seasons of nature reflect in my soul.  

Soul-winters have anchored me in You, deepening heart roots into gospel soil, rich with the nutrients of Your Word.  

Soul-springs bring life You force through softened crusts of winter's grip, the joy of hope unfurled. 

Soul-summers stretch long and steady as storms are endured and as You shelter me in the leaves of grace and mercy and lovingkindness fed by Living Water.

You give winter then spring then summer so that harvest is fully enjoyed.  A season of seeing the goodness poured out and gathered in by You.   

And the roots of my soul are anchored 

as the nutrients of your Word quiet my soul.

May the God of hope 

so fill you with all joy and peace in believing 

that by the power of the Holy Spirit 

you may abound and be overflowing, 

bubbling over, with hope. 

Romans 15:13  Amp

We have this 

as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, 

a hope that enters into the inner place 

behind the curtain, 

where Jesus has gone 

as a forerunner on our behalf,

Hebrews 6:19-20a  ESV

Love always,

Angie

Stumbling to Follow

Bible study digests best when shared at the table, quietly in a journal or with others.  

Once a week, several of us gather to share the Word and life.  We share scripture and our stories that make the scripture come alive.

Father, my mind has settled on being a follower of Jesus.  But I stumbled immediately trying to  physically follow.  

My bed was warm this morning and my study space cold.  I chose wrongly.  

Chores tripped me.  I must cross a sea of laundry to get to my study space.  I picked up clothes to start the washing which led to folding and then piles cried out to be delivered.  I chose wrongly.

The phone rang, dishes stacked, guests multiplied, . . . and I am realizing more deeply that following You is not for the faint hearted. 

We remind each other that His flesh walked this earth.  He encountered similar struggles and showed us the way to walk without stumbling.  We speak truth into the lies of being unable to follow.  We set a priority schedule to try again.

Then we go home.  

Am I going to be the same woman in the privacy of my own home as I was at Bible study, as I am in public?  Am I just as committed in my own home and alone in my heart where only You can see, as I was with my friends?

"Yes," whispers from the deeps,  "because I have brought a cloud of witnesses even into the privacy of your home. So, lay aside anything that causes you to stumble or anything that causes you to sin.  And you are to run with endurance through your day, fixing your eyes on My Son."  Hebrews 12:1-2 Angie paraphrase

His flesh walked, my flesh stumbles and struggles trying to learn to walk.  And I look for help.  

Help says, "Follow Me." Luke 9:23  And Help says, "I have covered your stumbles and struggles with My Crazy Love, bright red.  Don't run away from the struggles, because as you learn to stand and follow Me, proven character will result.  And after proven character comes hope and hope does not disappoint because the love of God is being poured out within your heart . . . "  Romans 5:3-5 Angie paraphrase

Thank You, Lord, for hope. 

Love always,

Angie

His Purpose

The winds have been fierce on the mountain lately, over 100 mile an hour being recorded, a visual of my thoughts as change blows fiercely through.

For 22 years, the same work has met me each morning, steadily evolving as the responsibilities grew.  And the precious responsibilities, our children, are now moving away, grown.


This purpose of my waking is walking out our door into a newness shaped by You, Lord.  And heart-groans murmur at the change, invigorating and scary all at once. Skipping one minute and pounding the next.

Having no set boundaries for how the day is lived, time is given away.  Many good endeavors have ended in frustration, leaving trails of soul-chaos.

A friend, just ahead of me on the road of life, wrote black on white into my grey life:

"I remember how frustrated I was a couple of years ago.  I was so sure I was supposed to be doing something glorious that would fill my life!  But nothing happened.  I looked.  I prayed.  I tried to do things that I was hoping God had in mind for my purpose, but He didn't.  And the more I tried, the more frustrated I got.  One day, I just decided He didn't want me to do anything, but look for Him.  He didn't want me to do ANYTHING, just learn to be content with Him. And I let go of trying to make something happen."

For it is God who works in you, 

both to will 

and work 

for His good pleasure.   

Philippians 2:13

And I am sure of this,

that He who began a good work in you 

will bring it to completion 

at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

A mentor said to me, "Be content with joy at what the Lord brings into your life."  Content.

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me  

Psalm 138:8a

And I hear Him repeating content.  And I hear Him directing me to do nothing extra, only look for Him in the circumstances, the chores, the relationships, the life He has already given.


Do I have permission, Father?  Do I have permission to not stay on the treadmill named "Normal" in our fast paced society? Can I give myself permission?  

Fears begin to walk in the back door right as these questions walk in the front.

What if I don't have a job outside our home to give myself relative significance?  What if our finances strangle us and keep our already simple life stripped?  


But, what if that simplicity lets You come through brighter?  What if You become the absolute focus for this time?  
No running.  
     No hiding under a false security of surface crust.  
          Just real life from the deeps You struck when Mama called 
               and when You said to run a disciplined life. . .

So when well-meaning folks ask, "What are you doing now that your children are grown and gone?  What are you doing with this new found freedom?"  And smiles of anticipation spread across their face as they wait for their kind of normal answer . . .

Lord, I wonder at their response if I answered, "I am learning to be a slave?"  Will there be glints of Life in my eyes shining from seeking You?  Or fear of their response?  


Could those words really come out of my mouth?  Could I REALLY LIVE those words and not hide in what others expect of me for their comfort . . . 


And heart-groans murmur at the change, invigorating and scary all at once!  Skipping one minute and pounding the next as my husband says, "Obey God and be fully alive.  Walk past the fears, and stand in that place."

What if we, sweet friend, spent a year
looking for Him
in our daily lives
to honor Him as God 
and
to be thankful?
Romans 1:21

And what if our purpose was to live as His follower, His slave? 

Come to the Table with me, His Table . . . for fellowship with Jesus Christ.
Love always,
Angie

Refresh yourself in the Peace of My Presence.  This Peace can be your portion at all times and in all circumstances.  Learn to hide in the secret of My Presence, even as you carry out your duties in the world.  I am both with you and within you.  I go before you to open up the way, and I also walk alongside you.  There could never be another companion as devoted as I am.

Because I am your constant Companion, there should be a lightness to your step that is observable to others.  Do not be weighed down with problems and unresolved issues, for I am your burden-bearer.  In the world you have trials and distress, but don't let them get you down.  I have conquered the world and deprived it of power to harm you.  In Me you may have confident Peace.

Sarah Young, Jesus Calling